I would suggest to be watchful, but if the time is not ripe, you cannot be. Before you can be totally one with watchfulness, you have to go through the hell of your negative emotions; otherwise they will be repressed and they will erupt at any moment, at any weak time. So it is better to get rid of them. But getting rid of them does not mean that first you have to be watchful

First forget about watchfulness. Live each emotion that you feel; it is you. Hateful, ugly, unworthy–whatever it is, you be actually in it. First give them a chance to come up totally into the conscious.

Right now, by your effort of watchfulness you can repress them into the unconscious. And then you get involved in your day–to–day work and you force them back again. That is not the way to get rid of them. Let them come out–live them, suffer them.

It will be difficult and tedious but immensely rewarding. Once you have lived them, suffered them, accepted them, that this is you, that you have not made yourself this way so you need not condemn yourself, that this is the way you have found yourself–once they are lived consciously, without any repression, you will be surprised that they are disappearing on their own. Their force on you is becoming less; their grip on your neck is no longer that tight. And when they are going away, there may be a time when you can start watching.

Remember not to misunderstand.
I have said, “Express your negative emotions,” but I have not said, “Publicly.” That’s how things become distorted.

Now if you are feeling angry with someone and you start expressing your anger, the other person is not going to be a Gautam Buddha and sit silently. He is not a marble statue; he will also do something. You will express anger, he will express anger. It will create more anger in you–and anger or violence create, from the other side, the same, and with a vengeance. And then you will feel like being more into it, because you have been told to express.

Yes I have told you to express–but I don’t mean publicly. If you feel angry go to your room, close off the room, beat the pillow, stand before a mirror, shout at your own image, say things you have never said to anybody and always wanted to say. But it has to be a private phenomenon, otherwise there is no end.

Things go on moving in a circle, and we want to end them. So the moment you feel any negative emotion about anybody, that other person is not the question. There is no need to throw your anger on anybody. You can go to your bathroom, you can go on a long walk—it means that something is inside that needs some activity so that it released. Within a five–catharsis you will feel unburdened, and once you know this you will never throw your anger on anybody, because that is absolutely foolish.